Why You Should Never Rely on Willpower


I just had a discussion with someone on my team - helping them manage their work-life balance. 

She finds herself checking her phone in the evening.

Then there’s guilt. We're supposed to be PRESENT with our kids. 

Not on our phone.


So we will discipline ourselves.

We decide - from now on, we'll be a present parent, right?

It lasts.... 2 days.

(speaking from experience)

We go through several iterations to cut our impulses, and eventually, we give up and surrender to reactionary life.

It’s not just the phone.

Our morning routine. 
How many times did we say we would do gratitude first thing in the morning... only to give in to some other impulse?
Food addictions.
Too much coffee.
Not exercising enough.
Not following up with clients.
Not investing in ourselves when we said we should be courageous.
Not going live every week when we said we would.
Giving in to distractions every day.

 And the business is exactly where it was 6 months ago.

 Nothing changes.

 We have NO FREEDOM.

 We are subject to our impulses.

 No power.

 No self-control.

We are run by our compulsive behavior.

Bad news: your willpower will get you nowhere.

But there IS a powerful way to gain freedom back.

At that very moment, when you are grabbing the phone, nervously checking your messages, to make sure everyone is happy…

That’s the ONE moment you ... STOP.

You pause. Notice. Just frickin’ notice.

What’s the emotion that is arising?

Yes, that’s the one.

The URGE. The burn in the solar plexus.

The irresistible pull to respond NOW.

That burn, that sensation, is the juice, the fuel.


When you heal that, you get 1% of your freedom back.

Then you heal the next impulse. The next reaction. The next urge.

You start freeing yourself one reaction after another.

It does not take years, or weeks, or even days.

It's your willingness to pause and transmute that ONE emotion.

And then you realize that YES, you actually CAN run a multi 7-figure business on 4 days a week, with an infant, serve over 100 clients, and have a team of 5.

You aren't subject to your impulses.

Warning: people will think "omg she must be a robot; working all the time, no freedom".

And you will know that it's the exact opposite. You are free of your impulses, you are the creator in your own life.

Life doesn't run you. You actually have a choice in the matter.

It’s not at all about whipping yourself into perfection.


So how do you actually heal that?

It’s not by trying to change the emotion.

It’s not by perfecting yourself.

It’s not by feeling guilty and beating yourself up.

It’s by stopping that very moment when you have the urge to grab your phone, feeling that, and literally just by sensing the sensation.

It takes no effort and no doing on your part.

It’s the opposite. It’s literally just your willingness to FEEL IT.

That’s it. Go to the middle of that sensation and feel it.

By the way, on Thursday the 28th at 1pm ET in the ‘10 workshop’, I will be guiding you through an exercise where you will get to practice this in a free workshop with us.

You are invited. 

Register here if you haven’t yet: www.ivapaleckova.com/retreat

Remember, you aren’t subject to anything. You DO have a free choice.

You can heal any impulse.

Let’s do it together.



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