We spend our lifetime telling ourselves that we shouldn't be the way we are. We should be more educated, smarter, prettier, taller, have straighter/curlier hair, be more accomplished, more successful, richer, and then we will be worthy.
We believe that if we are all the things we made up at some point in the past, we will gain everyone’s collective approval and we will be okay.
What's this all about? To find the answer, we must go to the era of our ancestors and look at how we were designed to survive. In a tribal society, if you don't win others’ approval and are excommunicated from the tribe, you may not survive on your own. You may risk dying a horrible and painful death, alone in the woods, eaten by a tiger.
However, thanks to the genes passed by our ancestors from 10,000 years ago, we aren't just sensitive to lactose, we are also sensitive to the risk of losing collective approval. So what should you do? Go lactose and criticism-free?
Hardly. It's your relationship with your "shoulds" and your constant efforts to fit in, impress, and win approval that must undergo a transformation.
Try going on a "should"-free diet for a week and see what happens. No, you shouldn't exercise daily. You either will or you won't. It isn't like telling yourself that you should work out has made a difference in your life, anyway, has it?
“Should” isn’t an intention or a commitment, it’s just a roadblock on the path to success. It’s time to train your brain to stop worrying about being thrown to the tigers so you can be free to be your authentic self.
To read more, here’s a link to my book on Amazon: Dust Off and Rise: Stumbling Toward Success https://www.amazon.com/Dust-Off-Rise-Restauranteurs-Leadership-ebook/dp/B07H9HK8MP/