"Soliciting in the DM Seems Desperate"

Uncategorized Mar 13, 2021

I was browsing through a female entrepreneur group and saw a post saying “soliciting in the DM after seeing a comment on someone else’s post seems a bit desperate, is someone else experiencing this?” 


First, I don’t know what this person was sent in the DM. Maybe that was a link to a product to buy… which is a bit much to send after you post something. 


But this post got 500 comments. As I was reading through it, I could not believe the amount of… well... projection. 


Our own impostor syndrome projected outwards. It was a bit nasty. Everything I was ever afraid people would say or think of me when I reached out to them inviting them to my free retreats. 




So, let’s talk about DMs! 


#1. It’s relationship building: 

And without relationship building, you have no virtual business. It’s EXACTLY what you do when you go to BNI, Polka Dot, or whichever other organization you go to. You meet people, figure out what they need, and see if you can help. 


You want to have a virtual business and you want to do it WITHOUT DM? WITHOUT RELATIONSHIP BUILDING? 


Good luck! It does not work!


#2. What is and is not soliciting: 

Sending a link to a product without a conversation and context is soliciting. It’s fine, but it’s not going to get you anywhere. Sending a link to something to your entire friend’s list... you most likely just burnt it, so I would not do it. Think long term. 


Setting up a quick connect call or sharing a free 7-day event is not selling or soliciting. You are inviting someone to an incredible 7-day experience. 


#3. When to message someone and when to wait: 

We wait for people to friend us, or follow us, or join our free group. 


When they do, they have come to MY PARTY.


It’s my birthday party. It would be kind of weird to not talk to the host of the birthday party wouldn’t it? 


“Oh, the host is SPAMMING me with free wine.” 




My friends, PLEASE don’t let posts like that derail you from your efforts, shut you down, make you feel rejected, and start chasing the next shiny new object. 


If you want to get 100 clients online, it’s going to take at least 100 real relationships IN THE DM. 


No… people won’t just click on your ad and become a client. IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. 


So go and connect! And quit worrying that someone will get pissed off. Their rudeness says more about them than you. 


Happy social networking! 


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